WoLaD: The 1st Interlude V.30

"Wars of Light and Darkness"
By: Jade Lightning, a.k.a. ReverseTheEclipse

"The First Interlude"

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Verse Thirty: “Bond of Freedom”

  Fires crackled in the middle of the village.  Every echidna was gathering around gradually, ready to celebrate the miraculous awakening of Kashkie, and even a bat or two.  Just as it was getting dark, Lily showed up with her new husband, Toby, representing the bat tribe.  She was a far more familiar face after how much time she spent in the village over the past year while Kashkie was in his deep slumber.

  As they walked ahead Lily looked around.  The village was livelier than it was during that entire past year.  When Kashkie slipped into his year long sleep, the mood of the entire village crashed down with it.  This was largely due to how it consumed both Deannalee and Casselina, as the women both came to depend on Kashkie in the absence of both Renaldo and Teikaru.

  Lily was continually humored by how nobody questioned the absence of either man, yet practically went into mourning when Kashkie was in his slumber.  Perhaps it was because they accepted Renaldo was dead and didn’t care that Teikaru was an ass.  People genuinely cared about Kashkie. Heck, even she did; her and her entire village.

  Her walking came to a stop when a loud thud hit her legs.  Looking down she grinned as she saw little Baralai clinging to them in a tight hug.  With a giggle he looked up and cried, “Aunt Lily! Uncle Toby!  Uncle Kashkie is awake!  We’re gonna have a big party for him!”

  “So we see baby,” she replied with a grin, “You must be so excited.”

  Pulling back Baralai nodded.  “I am!  Everyone’s so excited, Mama and Grandma too!”  He squealed with delight as Toby picked him up.  “I’m glad you both came!”

  Toby chuckled.  “Ah we wouldn’t miss it for the world partner,” he said with a grin.

  Lily smiled.  Her ears twitched as she heard someone approach.  As she looked Casselina reached them, bowing her head out of respect as Lily and Toby were the leaders of their village.  “He’s going to be a wonderful father,” Casselina remarked, watching Toby and Baralai.

  “I know,” Lily replied with a grin, “That’s one thing I kept in mind when I chose to marry him.”  She blushed gently, but then nodded her head returning the same respect to the old Guardian Queen.  “I was so excited to hear Kashkie was awake, truly,” she added, looking around.  “Where is he?  Is he doing alright?”

  “Deannalee took him for a walk.  She let him see everyone in the village; you see his memories are very…scarce.  He remembers but he has a hard time reaching them at first, which, I suppose being asleep for a year will do that to you.  However that’s not the biggest problem.  You see his personality is changed and his level of paranoia is through the roof.  Why yesterday after he woke up he…,” Casselina paused, glancing at Toby, causing Lily to look as well.  Toby’s ear was noticeably rotated to the side, indicating that he was fully listening to them, but spent his time keeping Baralai preoccupied.

  Lily smiled.  “That’s my guy,” she said, looking back, “You were saying?”

  Casselina smiled some, and then looked back, lowering her voice regardless.  “Well his paranoia was so high he actually crushed Deannalee’s hand.  The doctor bandaged it but told us all we could do was let her bones heal naturally.  He vomited after this, though he accepted fruit later.  He just…he seems relaxed one moment, then the next he’s terrified that the most innocent of things will turn into something that will try to hurt him.  He’s told us that much.  We’re not sure what we can do for him.”

  “My word,” Lily murmured, frowning, “He must have had nightmares that entire time,” she paused, glancing, “Did he say, what the nightmares were of?”

  “No, well, during the night he woke up crying because it was too dark, and he said he was afraid he was going to be hurt again.  He latched on to Dee until she got him back asleep,” Casselina explained, sighing gently, “I want to help him get better, hopefully sooner than later.  Deannalee and I came to depend on him.  We’ve coped alright this past year but…we sorely miss that comfort he gave us.  I don’t know what we can do for him.”

  By this point Baralai hopped down and ran to the edge of the village, eager to be the first to see his mother and uncle return from their walk in the woods.  Toby looked back at the girls and said, “It sounds like he’s like Deannalee’s hand.  He’ll just have to heal in time.”

  Casselina nodded gently, wiping her eyes.  Lily frowned; the hurt in Casselina eyes was real.  It was the same kind of hurt she expressed when Renaldo didn’t come home the first night, and the nights that followed.  “He’ll get better, he’s Kashkie, he doesn’t seem like the kind to me that’s easy to keep down.  I never realized just how important he was around here.”  Lily said this carefully; she remembered how Casselina and Deannalee had mistreated Kashkie in the past, but clearly they had moved way past that in the time after Baralai was born.  “What about Teikaru?” she asked with even more caution.

  “That boy,” Casselina hissed, “He spends his time on the south side of the island in some hide out he’s made.  I know he’s consorted with women and all I need is proof of one encounter before I have him stoned to death.” She paused, rubbing her head, “He’s left us alone this past year…Deannalee thinks he’s afraid of Kashkie for some reason, and all the better if he is; she thinks…he’s behind the disappearance of her father.  Right now I don’t care how we get rid of him.”

  Toby looked at her.  “I wouldn’t know about Renaldo but, we have seen Teikaru around the outskirts of our village.  We’ve questioned the women but nobody’s offered anything.  They either are lying or honestly…can’t remember.  Maybe he’s drugging them somehow.”

  Lily rolled her eyes.  “What an asshole he is.  We know if he’s spotted to follow him and get proof of what he’s doing.  We’ll tell you the minute we find out anything, you have my word.”

  “Thank you both,” Casselina said.  “This past year I just haven’t had the time for him.   Deannalee and I balanced looking after Kashkie, Baralai, the village and the Master Jewel.  We haven’t had time for anything else.  It’s amazing how big an impact he’s had…that boy,” she paused, looking out.  “He’s like a breath of fresh air.  He’s really stepped up to be the male figure in Baralai’s life.  Why, he’s even shown to Dee and me, even as he’s slumbered, that it’s time for a change around here.”

  Lily and Toby exchanged glances, before looking back at her.  “Change?”

  Casselina nodded, smiling some.  “While he’s slumbered we’ve fed him, cleaned him, kept him healthy and alive.  We’ve done things that most expected us to ask others to do, like how I shocked them serving Kashkie food on his first night here.  It was a big change to them at first, but, over this past year, people have accepted it.  Why, even before then we’d take Baralai to the lagoon and while the boys would play, Deannalee and I would do laundry together, another change for us.  We’ve come to realize that our society here just wasn’t balanced.  We’re…all meant to be equal.  Teikaru in how cruel he’s been to my daughter and grandson I feel we women were no better mistreating the other males, Kashkie included.  I believe it’s time…for a brand new start for this village, and we all have Kashkie to thank for that.”  She looked to where Baralai waited happily at the edge of the jungle.  “All that’s left to do first is get Kashkie back to us, fully back to himself once more.”

  Lily blinked slowly.  The thought of the echidna village changing in this way, putting the women and men on equal footing and the women agreeing to abandon their flirtatious ways was incredible.  Did Kashkie’s suffering motivate Deannalee?  Was Teikaru’s mistreatment of her what allowed it to hit home, or was it just the loss of Kashkie, someone they saw as very precious, the trigger for this ultimatum?

  Whatever it was, it made Lily smile.  Her faith in her dear friend wasn’t misplaced.  She looked at her husband and shook her head.  “That Kashkie, what did I tell you,” she paused, looking out towards the jungle with him, “He’s an amazing person.  I guess, all we can hope now is, he finds his way home.”


  Continuing their walk together Deannalee and Kashkie made their way through the steamy jungle.  Ever since Kashkie decided to trust Deannalee completely their progress was much faster.  There were times when Kashkie’s steps would slow and he’d glance around nervously at the world around him, but all it took was a reassuring but gentle squeeze from Deannalee’s hand on his arm to reign him back in.  He was beginning to feel safe, and if anything he knew now that he could trust her.

  If the bad things came back, he knew she would help keep him safe.

  He listened to her talk, and he listened to the sounds of the jungle.  The warm summer breeze continued to feel good on his skin and fur, and sometimes he would close his eyes just to breathe it in, trusting that she would lead him.  He remembered what Shadow told him once again about letting the feelings float back to him without trying to force them, and he continued putting this to practice.  Opening his eyes some memories came back to him.  He remembered walking through these paths and glades, covering almost every inch of this island in the sky.  He even remembered coming along this path with her before, and not just them; he remembered her mother being there too, and that little boy, Deannalee’s son.

  What were they doing?  Where were they going together?

  “It’s such a nice day.  I’m glad, it’s been awhile since I came here without such a weight on my heart,” he heard her say.

  Kashkie looked at her.   “Where…are we going?”

  Deannalee looked at him.  She was grateful on the inside that Teikaru had made his little hideout far away from her private lagoon.  She wouldn’t have felt safe taking Baralai there even with her mother, much less bringing Kashkie there alone.  She still feared what would happen when Kashkie first saw Teikaru again.

  If Teikaru was as bothered by Kashkie’s presence as it appeared then there was no telling how Kashkie would react to him in this vulnerable, paranoid state.

  “You’ll see,” she said with a smile, looking ahead.  “We’ve come here many times, you and me, and Baralai and Mother.  It’s our private lagoon.  We’d bring lunch, including frozen star fruit that we’d shave down like you showed us for a nice treat.”  She paused, sighing warmly; “Those were such nice days.” Looking at him again she added, “You loved the feel of water when I washed your hair, so I figured a full on swim might work wonders for you.  Don’t worry.  You’re safe with me.”

  The yellow echidna tilted his head as he listened; the response happened on its own.  He wondered if perhaps this helped him understand it better, or quicker.  He hated how slow his rational thoughts would move compared to how fast and frantic the paranoid ones did when they were nothing but a pack of lies.  He wondered if he would be sick like this forever. He wondered how two seemingly disconnected thoughts seemed to lead to each other for no reason at all.

  He remembered what Deannalee said finally.  He was getting better at keeping his focus.  With a nod, he replied, “I’m safe…I know you’re looking out for me, yes.”  He spoke slowly, for while his thoughts were forming a bit quicker, saying them was still more of a struggle.  He hated feeling slow and sluggish; Deannalee saw his eyes droop sadly and a soft sigh escape him.

  “What’s the matter Kashkie?” she asked, frowning.

  Kashkie shook his head.  “Memories are…the most minor of my problems,” he said at last, glancing at her, “I still get sick to my stomach sometimes…not because of food either, it just, happens.  Even though I trust you now, and remember you, I still feel afraid.  Memories might come back to me slowly…but, I think that’s because paranoia is taking up most of my thinking power.”  He looked ahead.  “Even now…I can only…talk so fast.  I have to look at you, and refute the nightmares, the sick feeling in my stomach.”  He sighed again closing his eyes.  “I have to remind myself that I’m safe but…that nightmare, it follows me even here.  I just…get depressed…thinking I may never, escape it.”

  Deannalee frowned more.  He was so discouraged over being sick and slower, and still that fear nagged at him; it wasn’t just fear of entities out of a nightmare becoming real to further torment him.   It was fear that he would never be back to his old self.  She didn’t realize just how deeply that fear shook him.

  In his head he remembered he had a job to do.  He remembered it involved this girl exclusively.  He remembered that rusty red figure telling him she needed his protection.  How could he protect her when he was this sick?   When she was in danger, how could he fight back while he was this sluggish?  She could be suffering oppression at this very moment, right under his nose, but he wouldn’t be able to see it.  He sensed she was hiding something now; his Light was shining with a little less brightness due to this crippling fatigue, and for the first time it allowed him to sense pain within her heart, pain hidden amongst her worries for him that were centered on fears for her father, her mother, her son, and herself.

  He was letting her down.  If he didn’t get better soon, how could he be expected to protect her?  The very thought of this brought that sick feeling back to his stomach.  It stirred up something else, but he didn’t want to show it.  He dragged his arm across his eyes, perhaps in a naïve moment thinking it would escape her notice.  It didn’t.

  Perhaps because she couldn’t possibly frown more without crying herself, Deannalee instead felt herself smile.  She didn’t realize the true nature of Kashkie’s worries now, but she did know she didn’t want him feeling so worn out and down-trodden.  She put her hand on his cheek causing him to look at her immediately; some of his reflexes were improving it seemed.  “You don’t worry about any of that Kashkie.  You’re going to be just fine.  I’m going to look after you until you’re better, and then you won’t have to worry anymore. You’ll see,” she said.

  It was completely ironic, what she said, though she didn’t realize it.  He struggled with it; he knew that was backwards.  He was supposed to be the one looking after her.  He remembered why but he struggled to make the connections fast enough.  Instead, he got distracted by something, the sound of water.  He knew what it was from her washing his hair the night before, and also deep seeded memories; those memories had a way of moving at whatever speed they desired, not the speed he requested them to.

  Still, he looked in the direction of the noise, abandoning the attempts to remember his connection to this girl for the moment to keep from winding himself tightly into frustration when it didn’t happen fast enough.  He spotted it then; a lagoon nestled in rocks.  It was surrounded by lit torches; the rocks made up one wall, while the tropical forest brush consisting of bushes and small trees with massive leaves and flowering with blossoms and fruits hid it from the surrounding jungle.  A sandy beach created the shore that faced them now.  It looked hidden and beautiful.  It looked safe.  It looked full of memories.

  Deannalee looked at him and smiled, then looked ahead.  “Here we are.  It’s beautiful don’t you think?  It’s a special place.”

  Kashkie tilted his head again, perhaps more out of curiosity this time.  The water rippled gently under that summer breeze.  It was so clear and crystalline; he could see straight to the bottom.  A bed of sand and smooth rocks coated the floor.  A waterfall streamed down at the back stirring up the water even further, and yet it looked so relaxing.  He waited, but he fervently hoped his mind didn’t create any nightmares for this place. He didn’t see how it could.

  He understood now it was his mind working against him…working against him in every way possible.  This led him back to his struggle from before.  No, his mind wouldn’t let him rest.

  “This is beautiful…I could never have a nightmare here,” he said at last, speaking slowly.  He looked at her.  “This place is very important, isn’t it?  I can just…feel it.”

  Deannalee’s smile wavered a bit but she didn’t let it show. “This is where we first met, although,” she giggled, “You were pretty zoned out so I doubt you remember it. More recently you’d come here with me and Baralai so he could play in the water.” She looked at him. “This is where he showed us that water was his first element, and thus it’ll be his strongest. Mother says his potential is greater than any she’s ever seen.” She looked back. “You and he would play with the water together while Mother and I washed clothes and linens, and we’d have picnic lunches together. We haven’t…had a day like this since you fell ill. I’ve…truly missed them…”

  “His father…,” Kashkie murmured, staring straight ahead. Deannalee immediately looked at him and him at her.  He tilted his head. “I would come, I was there, but not…his father.” Kashkie winced lightly. “It…hurts my head to think about him. He’s…not a nice person at all, is he?” He felt Deannalee put her hand on his shoulder causing him to look at her. “You…depend on me, don’t you?”

  “Kashkie,” she said frowning.  She knew it was only a matter of time before he remembered Teikaru, and all on his own, showing how strong the memory truly was.  She hoped this place would be free from memories of Teikaru, since the only time he and Kashkie were ever here together was the night Kashkie first arrived, and he wasn’t even conscious when that happened.

  It wasn’t the place, or even Teikaru that triggered it.  The only thing left that could have reminded him, was her, or at least memories of her needing him, raising her son alone.  Alone.

  She closed her eyes, swallowing down the lump in her throat that stole her breath; she prayed Kashkie hadn’t remembered how she had treated him.  Obviously he had remembered something the day before when he was crushing her hand out of fear, but she didn’t want him to remember it now, in this state.  She wanted him to recover; the only way he could do this was to focus on himself for a change, and to be able to trust her to let her help him.  She had to give him the comfort and protection he offered to her the night that Baralai was born.

  It all had to be about him now.  It couldn’t be about her.  It was her promise to him, to make up for all she had done.

  Shaking her head finally she smiled putting her good hand on his cheek.  He tensed up immediately but closed his eyes in a relaxed manner, breathing deeply.  “We depend on each other.  You’ve been there for me and Baralai, even Mother, since Daddy’s been gone. …as for Teikaru don’t you worry.” She shook her head looking at their feet.  “He just, decided he didn’t want to be a man anymore.  You just…out of love you stepped up and did what he refused, and since you’ve been sick, it’s my turn to pay that kindness back to you.”  She looked up.  “That’s what people do when they care for one another.”

  Kashkie swallowed a bit; he knew she was being vague with him for some reason.  He knew there was more to the Teikaru story than that, for he still sensed a hidden pain buried deep within her heart.  It was so eclipsed by the worries and concerns for him, however that he could not put the pieces together.  Even if he had all the pieces he couldn’t do it as his thoughts shifted continuously from one station to the next, and they chose to stop now on those words she spoke of care and relationships…of love.

  What kind of love did she mean?  He vaguely remembered spending nights with her…waking up the next morning with orange juice and his favorite flower waiting on the woven table by the bed.  If he felt any stress, he remembered she was always very caring and warm to him.

  His thoughts were jumbled up again; none of them lined up correctly.  Any source of comfort now wrapped itself tightly in his mind.  He had to cling to comfort while he lived in a state of paranoia.  Any stresses from the past he beckoned himself to forget.  He only remembered the good with her, not the bad, and yet once again he wasn’t sure of how to do any of that.  He couldn’t even begin to think how to take care of himself, let alone another person.  If she depended on him, how could he protect her?  If she loved him, how could he love her back?  How could he…

  He tensed up tighter than ever when he felt it.  He hadn’t noticed her remove his sandals from his feet, setting them aside before walking him into the edge of the water, stopping as the surface lapped gently at his ankles.  Opening his eyes he looked down at it.  His breathing immediately quickened; Deannalee could feel the muscles in his arm and back clench so tightly she could see them rippling under his skin.  Despite laying in a coma for a year, he was still so strong.

  She looked at his face, smiling some.  “It’s water.  You remember how good it felt when I washed your hair?  You’ll be just fine, I promise. I won’t let anything hurt you,” she said, rubbing his back as gently as she could manage with her broken hand.

  Kashkie looked at her, resisting the urge to stare vacantly at the scene before him; his reactions were getting better as his trust rooted itself deeper.  Her brown eyes shimmered, full of reassurance.  He looked back at the water and simply nodded slowly.  This time, he took the first step, walking in further.  This time he led her into the water, deeper, until it eventually rose up to their chests. It did feel wonderful.  A feeling this precious couldn’t possibly exist in that dark prison he came out of.  How could anything that sought to bring him harm possibly arise from this perfect place?

  Perhaps knowing this, he felt Deannalee let go of his arm, causing him to look at her.  He tilted his head again.  “This…this feels wonderful, Deannalee.”  He still spoke slowly, carefully, but the tone of his voice was much calmer and secure.

  Deannalee felt relieved.  Her idea was panning out.  Her smile turned to a playful grin.  She had played with Kashkie and Baralai, even her mother in the times they came to the lagoon together, but never once had she come here alone with Kashkie, not to swim, even in the days she laid with him.

  She had tried to keep it special for just Teikaru, but he had made it clear nothing meant anything to him anymore.  Now, she would make it special for Kashkie, part of their healing processes, and friendship.

  With a swift but easy movement Deannalee took a chance and splashed Kashkie gently.  The golden echidna let out a yelp letting his feet lift from the bed of the lagoon as he flailed backwards stopping just short of the rock wall behind him.  He blinked quickly looking around almost frantically for the source, before he finally noticed Deannalee giggling wildly.  He wrinkled his nose.  That water didn’t hurt. It actually felt nice, damp and cool on his face, especially in this summer heat.  She must have done that to be nice or some other positive notion, otherwise why would she be giggling?  But what was it?

  “You gonna swim now?” she asked with a grin, taking off her golden diadem setting it on the top of the nearby rock wall.  “You’ll feel better once you’re completely immersed.  Watch me.” She dove under after this, not bothering to take a breath as she could use her power over air and water to breathe infinitely underneath the surface.

  With his nose still wrinkled Kashkie blinked slowly.  Surprisingly he wasn’t unsure how to react, for the only solution his mind could come up with was to mimic her actions.  He dove into the water, shutting his eyes at first instinctively to protect them from the rush of water flooding them.  He waited.  He let his body take in the feelings that were pouring into his nerves.  His body began to curl into a ball out of sheer reflex, and yet instead of being tense, his muscles began to unwind and go lax.

  The feeling of water on his scalp, on his feet, up to his waist, all paled in comparison to this blanket of soothing comfort that cradled him now.  He was weightless.  His bones were able to float aimlessly, no longer burdened by the need to hold up his body.  His aching muscles no longer had to work so hard, and so the tired feeling began to bleed out of them.  The sweat that collected on his skin soaking into his fur and matting it gave way to the cool but comfortable water of the lagoon.  

  Relaxed…everything relaxed, even his mind.

  Opening his eyes Kashkie realized this was the best he had felt since he woke up from his sleep, and even all the way back to before he fell into it, although his last memories from the time before the nightmare in the darkness were still a bit hazy.  He spotted her again; Deannalee was looking right at him grinning.  She swam up to him and the two watched each other briefly.  As at ease as he was his nose had long unwrinkled.  The lines on his forehead, twisted in confusion and anxiety were gone.  Kashkie looked like his old self again.  Dependable, comforting, and strong.  Happy.

  He saw her smile, and whether by reflex or contagion, Kashkie felt his lips curl into a smile as well.  Her hand came to her mouth in an action that resembled a giggle, before her eyes met his again.  Curiously he tilted his head.  Before he could decide what to focus his thoughts on again, her finger came up and poked the tip of his nose playfully, before she swam ahead, deeper into the lagoon.  He blinked again, recognizing immediately that her touch made his heart pound faster.  He was used to this; every time he had an anxiety attack for that past day his heart would beat uncontrollably.  This time he was certain it wasn’t fear or panic.  Something else about her gesture made his heart flutter.  Something about her did it.

  Something about her made him swim after her.  He didn’t stop to think about what he was doing, or how he knew exactly how to mimic her motions.  He could stop to think, but he didn’t; he just followed her.

  Kashkie felt swaddled in comfort.  He never wanted to leave that place.  As his limbs pushed him seamlessly through the water he closed his eyes.  He had a vague memory, one of a time she spoke of, with the two of them, her mother, and son.  He remembered keeping the boy securely in his arms, taking the role of a father, and Deannalee hers as the mother, helping keep Baralai steady and safe as he learned to swim, something the most skilled of water wielders could do almost from birth.

  He remembered grinning and encouraging; he remembered feeling pride.  That wasn’t his son, but he felt proud anyway.  He remembered sitting in the shallows with the boy and twisting and shaping the water with him.  Baralai was already proving to be the most skilled of water wielders, perhaps even being the most powerful there was by the time he reached maturity.  This was years in the future however, and at that time Kashkie took such joy in watching Baralai ball up water to his tiny fists, giggling and squealing with excitement when he mimicked Kashkie’s own movements.

  Pride…he wasn’t the boy’s father, yet he felt proud.  He remembered looking and seeing Deannalee watch them sometimes and smiling.  And yet…in this free and clear state, he remembered something else.  She’d have the slightest look of longing and sadness in her eyes, one he could barely catch as her eyes returned to preparing their meal for the evening.

  What was she hiding…that pain that she buried…why did she look at him like that?
     Why did she make him feel this way?

  The sound of rushing water woke him up from his thoughts, just in time for him to realize his chest was starting to sting painfully at him.  Opening his eyes he immediately began to flail, kicking for the surface violently having to fight against the waterfall.  Deannalee looked in his direction when she sensed the movement.  Alarmed, she quickly realized the problem and swam to help him, bending the force of the waterfall away from him temporarily before helping him break through to the surface.

  He gasped for breath, coughing as the rush of the waterfall returned, pelting their heads and shoulders as they floated there together, Deannalee keeping a secure hold on him. She tilted her head.  Something about this was strange.

  Coughing once more Kashkie saw her looking at him in this way.  He tilted his head in the opposite direction.  “How did that not happen to you?” he managed to ask between breaths.

  Deannalee blinked.  With a giggle she shook her head.  “I forgot…Kashkie unless you use your water and air control, you have to come up for air now and then.”  She blushed gently.  “My mistake…I just…you took to swimming so fast I suppose I…” She blinked.  “Wait, you do remember how to control them, right?”

  Although he was immediately preoccupied with the blush color on her cheeks Kashkie was still thinking pretty clearly because of the water.  He nodded some, holding up his hand, mimicking the memory kindled in his mind by drawing water to it.  Looking at it he said, “I’m pretty sure…I can remember the other three as well.  Well…” He looked at her, “Four.  My Light…you know about it.”

  Breathing a sigh of relief Deannalee smiled.  “Yes…and it’s our secret, well, you me and Lily.” She took his hand rubbing it gently.  “Lily’s coming tonight.  She’s been so worried about you too.  I’m sure she can’t wait to see you.”  She paused, staring at his hand while water wrapped around it.  “We’d better not stay too late.  We’ll come here every day.  Water can be therapeutic…and just this short swim has done wonders for you.  I can tell.”

  Kashkie was listening but became fixated on their hands the moment she grabbed his.  Her touch was soothing, in contrast to forms of touch that caused pain in every way imaginable that he was used to.  He did remember the elements, and now he remembered that he did in fact need them to breathe underwater and had simply forgotten this.  He remembered he bore a great light.  He remembered this light was important, especially to his friend Shadow.  He remembered the reason he bore it was because he was needed to help Shadow in something great that would mean either the salvation or damnation of all.

  It was why he was here.  This girl was important to the movement to save the world.  She needed to be protected.  She needed to be protected from someone close to her that meant her harm.  It wasn’t her father.  It wasn’t her mother.

  That was why he was proud.  It was because nobody was there to be proud.  The child’s father.  He was the reason.

  Kashkie winced lightly, something Deannalee didn’t notice as she stared at his hand, as though grateful she was able to stare at it at all.  He felt longing, but he felt restraint.  He felt comfort surrounding her from another place, somewhere beyond him.  His thoughts were scrambled again.  He remembered thinking fathering her next child wouldn’t be a tragedy.  For her sake, maybe he would.  Maybe he still needed to.

  The line was blurred.  The gentle and compassionate side of him that wanted to mend everyone’s sorrows and cradle their hearts until the bleeding stopped, something he so badly wanted for himself, started to win out.  In a mind that has only so much sense, what does line up, grows the deepest and strongest vein.

  The water around Kashkie’s hand began to curl around Deannalee’s gingerly, weaving over her wrist, around and under it, before lacing in a similar fashion around Kashkie’s hand, the same one she held.  She gasped softly, looking up at him.  He looked at her as well tilting his head slightly again, something she realized he now did whenever he was thinking, but in a relaxed, curious state.  Still, there was something about the way he was looking at her, and she picked up on it all too easily.

  Half of her was foolishly happy.  It was that shining look full of love that she longed for, and it made her body numb, for it was a way not even Teikaru had ever looked at her.  For so long she wanted Kashkie for the wrong reasons.  Even after they made up there were days she still wished he would choose her, even when she thought of trying to find the perfect girl for him.  She knew she wasn’t the one, but with no love from Teikaru, and night after night filled with pain and torture she never dared speak of in order to protect both Kashkie and Baralai, the lack of comfort and warmth was almost even more painful to bear.

  Still, when she hit those low moments, she learned that a smile, a hug, and the occasional kiss on the cheek was enough.  He would be like a brother, an uncle to Baralai, a much needed male figure in her life.  She knew nothing of this angelic figure that Baralai claimed visited them almost on a nightly basis, but when she made the connection to that, and the inexplicable comfort she felt the night of Baralai’s birth, she felt she forged a bond with this lingering spirit.  She couldn’t explain it, but she felt something greater than she felt for Kashkie.  It was something deeper, deeper than just love.  As much as she had grown to treasure and value Kashkie, she understood that to feel love for someone you’ve never even met, the same kind she felt for Baralai as he grew and moved inside her, means that there’s a bond there far stronger than any other.

  She would wait and see where it led her.  As selfishly happy as she felt there for that moment, however brief, she knew she couldn’t be selfish when it came to Kashkie. What he had given her was already precious enough.  She wouldn’t break that promise.

  “Kashkie, listen…I think maybe you’re confused, a little.  It’s alright, but I…I just need to tell you…” She looked up, and her words were cut off as Kashkie leaned in and kissed her lips.  Stunned, Deannalee blinked.  Her grip on his hand tightened, and her cheeks blushed harder than ever.

  Sensing this, Kashkie pulled back, his head still tilted.  “I saw…a couple do that, back in the village.  …only she reacted differently.”  He pulled his hand away, the water dropping from it.  “You’re right, I am confused.  The way you looked at me…how happy we were with Baralai…me thinking it would be alright if…we had that child together; …I don’t understand.  We spent…time like that together right?”  He turned away but looked at her.  “Is it…because I’m like this?  You don’t…want me anymore?”

  Deannalee frowned suddenly.  “Kashkie…no,” she hugged him, the water pouring down on them still, enveloping them.  “Kashkie I…I wasn’t very nice to you.  …those mornings you remember, the…nights before them weren’t what you wanted.”  She took a deep breath, shutting her eyes tightly, confessing to transgressions she felt Kashkie never properly punished her for.  Perhaps…now was his chance.  She had to give it to him.  Crushing her hand wasn’t enough.  He wasn’t all that aware then.  He was now.

  “I…I did fall in love with you but, I was with Baralai’s father, engaged. …I saw you use your Light and the other four, something no other male could do.  I knew…you had ties to my ancestor. …I…I wanted my children to have a powerful father, and I realized…if you gave me your daughter, I could replace…Teikaru with you.  When I was pregnant with Baralai Teikaru found out I was…sleeping with you.  He…blamed you for coming on to me but really I blackmailed you.”  She took a deep breath, sniffing hard.  “I was a stupid bitch…I hurt you so badly, and yet when Baralai was born Teikaru he…hurt me.  …you came in and were so forgiving and comforting.  The only time I ever got comfort was from you.  …but I promised myself silently that I’d never…try to approach you again.  I want you to find real love. I don’t want you to…feel like you have to put yourself with me just to fix me when I broke myself.  I want you in my life Kashkie but, I want things like they were before you got sick.  I’m just…I’m so sorry.”

  Kashkie blinked slowly, feeling her grip get tighter and yet this didn’t alarm him.  Glancing back at her he connected the memories in the chain almost as quickly as she explained it.  He remembered now the nights before those warm mornings.  He remembered Teikaru sneering at him and Deannalee.  He remembered thinking he’d father Deannalee’s child because she had to have another, though he kept this secret to himself.  He realized he had repressed these missing pieces because of how painful they were.  He understood now what his feelings were and why they were misconstrued.  He felt part of himself sink back into certainty.

  He was starting to remember what his purpose there was.  It wasn’t to be her lover; it was to love her, and protect her.  To help her survive comfortably, as long as possible.  He wasn’t sure why; he repressed this memory so much it had to be the most painful of them all, but he knew that something was coming for her, and it was something he couldn’t defeat.

  The only clue he had to what it was, was some memory involving a knife.

  Turning around in place, Kashkie looked at her, able to pick out tears on her cheeks separate from the water, wiping them away with his thumb.  As she looked up at him, he hugged her gently, folding her into his embrace, immediately able to feel her shaking.

  “I’m sorry Dee.  I’m…I’m still unsure of a lot right now, but I…I stand by what I said…that night, when Baralai was born.”  He paused, looking at her kissing her head.  “I believe…I did that, and I told you everything would be okay.  …I meant it.  It’s…going to take a long time, but if going back to the way things were, before I went to the dark place, is what you want then…you have my word that I’ll get back to that person I was no matter what it takes.  You kept your promise to me…I’ll keep mine.”

  Looking up at him Deannalee wiped her eyes once more.  The look in his eyes was almost back to his old self.  Perhaps the water was more healing than she gave it credit for.  She saw him grin at her a little, a grin with actual confidence.  It caused her to smile, but she dropped her gaze, leaning her head down against his abdomen.  “Kashkie,” she breathed through a sigh.  “I could live a thousand life times and never deserve you.”

  Without missing a beat Kashkie chuckled softly, lifting her head.  “You don’t need to.  You only needed to live once.  Not as your lover, but your protector, and your best friend.  You’ll always have me.  I promise.” He paused, his grin turning sheepish.  “Just…don’t get excited…the back of my mind is still a raging pile of garbage.”

  Deannalee blinked then laughed.  “Mmm, thank you,” she hugged him once more, “I can handle that.”  Looking up she nodded.  “Let’s swim a little bit more, then head back for your big party.”  Pulling away she swam ahead, but only a short while, staying close and waiting for him to follow.

  Kashkie rubbed his neck, the knot in his stomach that nested there from the moment he woke up the day before wasn’t too keen on a big meal, but in his heart he felt he could do nothing less than enjoy it.  People cared about him.  They cared enough to cook him that meal.  They cared enough to look after his body while he was trapped in that dark place.  They cared enough to watch over him from afar.  They cared enough to admit to their sins for the sake of setting him free even as they remained tied to the ground.  Enjoying the moment of clarity and comfort, he followed her ahead.

  Water is healing, as is time, but the power of bonds stronger than most in the world would ever know, remained undefeated above it all.

  “A bond does not mean,
 That you never let go.

It means whatever distance,
 Two will ever know,

Cannot come between them,
  Even if they can’t see.

Those that love most,
  Are the ones that set free.”